Reasons to ‘Redshirt’ or Hold Back from Kindergarten for a Year

I sometimes wish I was a type B person who could just go with the flow. But nothing could be further from the truth, especially when it comes to my boys. And that means that preschool registration can cause me to go into a tailwind. I know in the grand scheme of life, it is not a big deal, its not life altering and nothing horrible or extraordinary will come from whatever decision we make—yet, every year I fret over what class to choose, what time to do and ultimately what decision to make.

To get a little personal, registration this year was supposed to be straightforward. We liked the 3’s class Reid was in and loved the shorter amount of time the class is, so signing Walker up for that class was a no brainer. Our thought was that Reid would enter Kindergarten in the fall and our lives as school-aged parents would begin. However, a conversation with Reid’s teacher this October changed our well set plans.

I hesitate to write about this as it impacts my son and his development, but it is something that we are going through so maybe others can relate. Reid’s teacher explained that he may benefit from the preschool’s young-5’s program. Reid is super intelligent, has mastered all the educational skills required of a 4 year old, is very social and has many friends, gets along with kids and adults, is sweet and kind and was known as the “mayor” of his class. However, like the stereotype suggests, Reid is a boy and matures at a slower rate. According to his teacher, educational skills can be learned, but maturity and emotional development is a matter of time.

His teacher, who is very understanding and has a lot of experience in education, explained that he would benefit from an extra year of maturity. She explained that he would be fine if he went to kindergarten, but that an extra year would help him succeed and be more confident and allow his attention span to strengthen.

We have had two follow up conversations with his teacher confirming the same thing (seriously, she is the sweetest person ever)–an extra year of preschool will benefit Reid in the long run.

As a parent, I worry about him getting bored if we “redshirt” him or that he won’t fit in because he is so much older (his birthday is the end of February). However, after talking to neighbors, friends and family–I realize that “redshirting” or “holding back” a year is a total normal thing to do these days. Elementary school isn’t like it was back in the day and there is a lot more expected of kids. Also, Reid will be one of the oldest but probably not the oldest. Additionally, with Covid still around, it will be nice to not worry about the uncertainty of school in the fall. The best part, he gets an extra year of childhood and an extra year to ‘just be a kid’ before he enters schooling (for the next 20 years)!

So now our registration for preschool for Walker is in flux, do we sign him up for a longer day so that I do one pick up–or do I enroll him in the class I originally was going to?! Time will tell, but I know that everything will work out as it should.

While some may judge our decision (which we know could change in the next few months depending on his development), we are doing what is in Reid’s best interest. Parenting is about letting go of our expectations and doing what is best for each individual child. Life is uncertain, but being type A and over examining everything has it benefits–it allows me to make the best decision given ALL the available information.

Ultimately, we know that Reid will succeed and that our new routine next year will work out. In the meantime, I will enjoy the time with Walker before he starts preschool, treasure time together with my little ones and continue to work on being as flexible as possible when plans change.