Honest Motherhood: Digging Yourself Out of Frustration with Toddlers

I laughed to myself as I unpackaged my new “ciao” shirt–as I thought “ciao little family, see ya later!”. Obviously, that isn’t what I really want, but today was a tough one and gosh what I would have done for a little mid-morning break! Motherhood has taught me many lessons and one that I implemented today was digging myself out of being frustrated and into a better mood.

Y’all it is tough when you are on the verge of screaming at the top of your lungs—to get out of your head and calm the f*** down. But it is possible.

This morning was Reid’s final swim lesson of the summer. We put him in lessons in January at a local swim school where he did group lessons once a week. We stopped lessons when Covid hit and resumed private lessons at our neighborhood pool when it opened in May. I was determined for my little boy to learn to swim this year. Well, lets just say after MONTHS of private lessons, numerous times a week–he still doesn’t know how to swim and won’t even get his head underwater! Folks, lets just say I can kiss some money bye bye…

After watching the last of his swim lesson, where he literally said “no, don’t get my head wet” 100 times–I got a little frustrated at him and at myself. I was frustrated at him as I know he could swim if he wanted to, but refuses to do so (he is stubborn like his parents!). I was frustrated at myself as I pushed the issue even after I knew he really didn’t want to learn how to swim. Basically, it was a downward spiral of emotions.

When we got home, I was still frustrated with the whole situation. I sat down and tried to distract myself. Usually my way to cope with frustration is to go on a run–but try pushing a double stroller with two 30 lb children up hills, talk about frustrating. So I ended up taking the boys on a walk to our nearby elementary school.

There, Reid and I were still in bad moods (bless little Walker who had to deal with us). After a few minutes, I turned on a podcast with positive affirmations. Nope that didn’t work. So I tried gratitude. I looked at my two healthy and (mostly) happy little guys and was thankful. It worked a little. Then the boys went into the near by trail and started to play with sticks and rocks. I prayed for patience, forgiveness and grace. There something worked. Maybe it was seeing the joy of two little boys playing or being outside in nature or knowing that there is a Higher Power always with me to lean on for support. Whatever it was (probably a combination of all), I was finally in a better mood and better place.

I know this post may sound a little woo woo, but y’all I went from a bad mood to being present, grateful and able to enjoy the rest of our afternoon. I realize that I cannot control anyone else’s emotions or actions–I only have control over myself. While I can help guide the boys, I ultimately cannot control them. Realizing that we all make mistakes, feel frustrated or upset is just a part of life and the journey of life.

Learning how to cope and feel better in the moment is so important. I know for me I need to slow down, take a deep breath, have a moment to myself to assess the situation and when that doesn’t work I need to get outside, live life in gratitude and prayer. At the end of the day, I think we all want to live happy and healthy lives 🙂

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and thank you for being with me on this journey called motherhood!